Neither snow nor rain nor dark of night.......

     .....shall stay Uncle Jack and Mrs. U.J. from their dogged pursuit of all things cultural.  He is pleased to report that last Thursday evening's concert by the Baltimore Symphony was not cancelled on account of snow (unlike almost every other event in the region) and they were among the handful of the faithful who were able to mush on over to the Meyerhoff to hear a terrific concert featuring a young artist named Augustin Hadelich who played the heck out of Brahms's only violin concerto and then favored us steadfast concert-goers with a dazzling performance of one of Paganini's show-off pieces for unaccompanied violin. A night to remember for sure.
      The roads were clear enough by Saturday to venture downtown to the fabulous Landmark Theater (how many movie theaters do you know that have a full bar?) where the sleeper movie of the year was playing----namely "The King's Speech".  It took guts to make a movie about a king's speech impediment but it turned out well enough to rake in a dozen Oscar nominations and will fight it out for top honors with "The Facebook"  which is also a first-rate flick.
      Sunday afternoon they were lucky enough to find a parking place among the snowdrifts just a block from the Fell's Point Corner Theater where they saw an excellent performance of a play called "Mauritius" which is about the unlikely subject of stamp-collecting.  Actually it is about human foibles like greed and avarice in the context of what seems on the surface to be a rather benign activity but it made for a really gripping play even though nobody was shot or stabbed and there were no explosions or car chases.
     Uncle Jack exhumed another chestnut from the archives this morning and has attached it below for those who may be snowbound and unable to reach the library this week.

                             Clothes Make the Man?

Sometimes Uncle Jack wonders why he never amounted to anything
even though he is a high school graduate and also enjoyed many
other advantages including a nagging mother.
   Here he is entering the stage of advanced decrepitude with
hardly enough money to buy a bloodworm when the spots are running
and all around him he sees people half his age pulling $20,000
boats behind their $40,000 4WD pick-up trucks and living in
$400,000 houses and going off on vacations to places Mrs.
Stonebreaker never even mentioned in geography class.
   Uncle Jack knew he must have done something wrong somewhere
along the way but he didn't know what it was until last week
when he read this article in the paper about clothes.
   This article had a lot of good advice in it for people who
want to amount to something and it is too bad Uncle Jack didn't
read it 45 years ago because he might have been a success today
instead of not having two nickels to rub together.
   This is one thing Uncle Jack did not know:
   "For any kind of business career, one needs, at minimum,
three good suits. They do not have to be tailor-made, but you
should go to some trouble to make sure they fit. If you can
find a good custom tailor who will do alterations, it's worth
the time and effort."
   You can see what Uncle Jack was up against right there because
he can tell you he has never owned more than one suit at a time
in his whole life and he has never owned a suit that fit.
   Every suit Uncle Jack ever bought from J.C. Penney or Sears
Roebuck seemed to fit o.k. when he was standing in front of
those triple mirrors in the store but as soon as he got home
and he bent over to get a beer out of the bottom shelf of the
refrigerator his suit would try to cut off his arm at the armpit.

   Also it would always turn out that the pants were too long
and Uncle Jack could not afford to go to a tailor so he would
fix the cuffs with paper clips.
   According to this article you cannot make a very good
impression in most business circles if you go around with paper
clips holding up your cuffs.
   "Shirts should be white or plain light blue; cotton is best.
They should not have contrasting collars, oddly shaped collars,
or French cuffs."
   Uncle Jack was glad to read that about shirts because shirts
were one thing he thought he did right. Most of the time he
wears a light blue shirt made of l00 per cent cotton that does
not have any strange kind of collar or cuffs.
   Wearing the right kind of shirt does not seem to have done
him any good in the business world, though, and he would hate
to think it was just because his light blue l00 per cent cotton
shirt has "I Got Crabs at Austin Fish Company" written on the
front.
   "Shoes should be simple, too. Plain black lace-up shoes
without fancy stitching or thick soles are all one needs; and
they should be meticulously polished."
   Uncle Jack really goofed when it comes to shoes because he
usually wears plastic shower clogs from Taiwan except when he
is going out to a fancy restaurant like Sam and Omie's he puts
on his fake Nike running shoes from the shoe department at Ace
Hardware. Neither one of them takes a very good shine, either.
   Most of the time, though, he goes barefoot and the newspaper
article says this is definitely not the way to get ahead unless
you are Jimmy Buffett.
   "If you want to get ahead you should dress for success. To
my knowledge nobody objects to a dark blue suit, a plain shirt
and a dark tie."
   If you want to know the truth Uncle Jack is not so sure he
wants to be a success any more since he read that article in
the newspaper.
   If the price of success is having to wear a dark blue suit,
a dark tie, and black leather shoes all the time he thinks maybe
there is something to be said for being a failure.

Much has happened since Uncle Jack last visited the Johns Hopkins library worksite more than two weeks ago.  Lots of concrete has been poured for one thing and much of the sub-surface early work has now been obscured by this slab.

It looks like the dirt floor in the background is also being prepared for another layer of concrete.  It can't be much fun working outside like this when the temperature never gets above freezing.  Sleet and freezing rain are forecast for tonight and tomorrow.  That should add to the fun.

Uncle Jack's admiration for architects, engineers and builders has blossomed since he started watching this project take shape a few months ago.

Hunkered down in Bawlmer

      Yesterday morning's light snowfall was only a harbinger of the storm to come a few hours later in the day.  A full scale blizzard blew in to snarl the afternoon rush hour traffic and it kept up for several hours, accompanied by thunder and lightning, and has left Charm City more or less paralyzed this morning.  Thousands of people have no power, all the schools are closed---including Johns Hopkins---and automobile traffic is almost non-existent during the morning rush hour.  This is not a problem for Uncle Jack and Mrs. U.J. because they are well-supplied with food and drink but they do have tickets to tonight's concert by the Baltimore symphony which will present a challenge if it isn't cancelled.  Stay tuned.

      Uncle Jack did another trawl through the archives and came up with this chestnut he wrote a few years back.


                                                               From the Mailbag

Dear Uncle Jack,
     Next week I start my first job as a schoolteacher and I'm really looking forward to it because I love children and I want to do good things that will make the world a better place to live in. But I am also a little bit scared and I know you used to be a teacher so I was wondering if you had any good advice for a beginner.
                             Nervous Nellie
                             New Jersey

Dear Nellie,
   It is too late for Uncle Jack to give you the advice he always gives young people who want to be schoolteachers which is the same advice his Aunt Esther used to give him back when he wanted
to be a teacher which was "Don't be a fool."
   But even if it was not too late and he did give you that advice you would probably not pay any attention just like Uncle Jack did not pay any attention to his Aunt Esther even though he knew that she knew an awful lot about schoolteaching after doing it for 30 years.
   Anyway you sound like the kind of person who has not gone into schoolteaching just for the money and prestige so Uncle Jack is glad he did not have a chance to talk you out of it. Somebody has to teach the children so it might as well be persons like yourself who actually like children and want to make the world a better place for them instead of witches like his old fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Stonebreaker. Maybe someday the Japanese or Bill Gates or somebody will come up with a computer robot (Mr. Chips?) who can take attendance and make up the cafeteria list and teach children how to do the train problems and all the vital things that teachers do but in the meantime human beings have to do it and he is glad that you are willing to put your head in the noose.
   As for advice to a beginner he has been racking his brain to try to come up with something helpful but all he could think of was the following:
   (a) On opening day count the number of children in your class and if you have more than 20 children go right to the principal's office and tell him he has made a mistake and he cannot expect you to teach more than 20 small children at one time and do a good job.
   When he gets through telling you where you can go you should ignore what he told you and go straight to the superintendent of schools instead. If he will not listen to you either you should go right
to the chairman of the school board and tell him your class is too big and the principal and superintendent should be fired because they won't do anything about it. This will establish you right off as a dedicated teacher who wants the best for her children and the school board will probably give you a big raise.
   (b) If they make you teach your class anyway, even though it has 38 children and 24 of them are insane, remember not to hit the children, even in self-defense. Hitting children is illegal in many states and it is also dangerous because you never know when a lawyer might be hiding under your desk.
   (c) Also never hug the children even if they surprise you and do something really nice which makes you feel like you want to hug them. Nowadays if a child goes home and tells his mother
or father (or both if by some chance they actually live together) that his teacher hugged him the parent might not understand and even if the parent does understand the lawyer under your desk may not understand so either way you are safer not hugging the children.
   (d) Stay out of the teachers' room at all times, especially if it does not have any windows which is usually the case. You will be depressed enough already without having to listen to the morbid conversations of experienced teachers and also you could be overcome by cottage cheese and yogurt fumes and die in there.
   Seriously, schoolteaching is only about 90 percent as bad as Uncle Jack has made it out to be and he is actually glad that he was a schoolteacher for a while because it did a lot for his self-respect. Someday when you have to quit teaching and go into some disreputable line of work like picture framing or selling timeshares in order to make a living you will be able to say, "I am not all bad. I was a schoolteacher once."
   Also as long as you are a schoolteacher you can count on getting a good night's sleep every night because you will be too tired to do anything else. Uncle Jack knows.

                         Doesn't this look like fun? (From the Baltimore Sun this morning)






 

Stormy weather

      Snow is falling in Charm City this morning along with occasional sleet and freezing rain making the streets even more hazardous than they usually are. Uncle Jack read in the paper yesterday that Baltimore is one of the most dangerous cities in the U.S. for pedestrians and he can believe it.  You have to be extra careful when crossing the street here because some of the potholes are deep enough to swallow the unwary.
      Uncle Jack was sorry to read about the passing of Jack Lalanne, the fitness fanatic who is credited by many with starting the current fitness/exercise/nutrition craze many years ago.  Through his TV programs, books and magazine articles he preached the health benefits of  rigorous exercise and proper diet and he "walked the walk" by personally engaging in many hours of strenuous workouts every day and sticking to a diet that would probably discourage most people from eating at all.  He was 96 when he died of pneumonia last week so it might appear that he knew what he was doing.
      But then again maybe not.  Uncle Jack's fabled Aunt Esther never exercised at all as far as he knows and she ate whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it and was famous in her family for her lethal "Texas Longhorn" cocktails which she served at every gathering of the tribe.  She was rarely sick and lived alone and cared for herself right up until the day she died of heart failure just five days short of 100.
The same could be said of the lifestyle of the late Queen Mother Elizabeth of England who was never known to frequent the Royal Gym, ate like a Queen and was known for her fondness for gin in all its delectable forms.  She died in 2002, still going strong, at the age of 102, having outlived both of her brothers.
     Uncle Jack is not sure what to make of all this but at the very least he is not going to worry too much about being snowed in today and not getting his usual walk.

    In his last entry he reprinted a piece from his extensive archives about a trip he and Mrs. U.J. made to Ireland a few years back.  Here's another installment in case you are snowed in, too, and have nothing better to do than read old travelogues:


                  

                                                                                    Galway

   Uncle Jack is happy to report that he is back from Ireland in one piece and also that he had a terrific time while he was over there. If you want to know the truth he had such a good time that he feels a little bit guilty  telling about it because he knows that many people have never had a chance to go to Ireland and if he says too much about how wonderful Ireland is they might get jealous. This is why he has decided to devote only his next twenty columns to his trip to Ireland even though he could probably spend the rest of his life talking about it to anybody who would listen.
   He has to confess right off that he failed miserably when it came to visiting pubs. He was hoping he could get to every pub in Ireland while he was there but even though he tried hard he could not even get to all the pubs in Galway which is where he and Mrs. Uncle Jack stayed most of the time.                                                                          In fact he did not even get to all the pubs in downtown Galway much less the suburbs. Trying to visit all the pubs in Ireland is about as hopeless as trying to visit all the T-shirt shops on the Outer Banks---by the time you get to the last one another 200 have opened up.
   The first pub Uncle Jack went into was right across the street from the bus depot in Galway and he could hardly believe what he saw when he went in there. The whole place was decorated with Budweiser banners and Bud Light signs and they even had Bud on draft. At first he thought he was suffering from some extreme form of jet lag and he was back in New York or something but it was real.                                        
   Needless to say he got out of there fast and into the pub next door which was very reassuring; as soon as he walked into O'Flaherty's he knew he was really in Ireland. For one thing everybody in there was drinking Guinness stout and if they had any Budweiser on the premises they were keeping it a secret. This is where Uncle Jack had his first pint of Guinness and he could tell right away why it is Ireland's national drink and also its   major export. He could say a lot more about Guinness and he probably will.
   O'Flaherty's at first looks a little like those fake American pubs you find in fancy shopping malls  because it is full of dark wood panelling and old wooden tables and chairs and lots of "antiques" all over the place. Halfway through Uncle Jack's first pint he realized that the antiques in O'Flaherty's were just the things they  furnished the place with back in l849 when it opened and they have been in  continuous use ever since.                                            One of the wall decorations was an ornate  timetable for the brand new Galway-Dublin train service which had just started in l849 and which probably did more to change Galway than anything since the Norman invasion in the l2th century.
   For one thing the railroad started bringing in tourists and l50 years later the tourists are pouring into Galway by train, plane, car, bus, bicycle and on foot in such numbers that they threaten to destroy the old Galway more completely than all the invading armies of foreigners have managed to do in the past eight centuries.
   Uncle Jack could not help noticing the similarities between Galway and the Outer Banks every time he walked   into the center of town where the streets were laid out during the middle ages, primarily for pedestrians and the occasional horse but which now have to carry a load of foot, car, bus and truck traffic that is almost laughable unless you are stuck in it.
   He read in the paper that Galway is one of the fastest growing cities in all of Europe and he can believe it. The sound he heard most often in Galway was not the lilting tones of the Irish flute but rather the raucous chattering of jackhammers tearing down  the quaint but dreadfully inefficient old stone buildings that still make up most of the city center.
   The other side of the coin (and coin of the realm is what it is all about) is that along with the tourists comes prosperity for a lot of people---everybody from the jackhammer jockies to the people who pay them to tear down the old and put up the new. Progress has come to Galway and just like on the Outer Banks it is very much a mixed blessing if you ask Uncle Jack.

   View from Uncle Jack's back window this morning---two inches on the ground already and much more to come as the day progresses.                                  

"Home" Again

     After two delightful weeks in his own house in Nags Head Uncle Jack is finding himself a bit conflicted as to where "home" is these days.  He loves Baltimore but he never stopped loving Nags Head when he moved to Charm City so maybe he should just think of both of them as home and consider himself lucky.  This is not exactly the worst dilemma that could befall a person.
     Actually the dilemma that befell him yesterday afternoon was worse.  He had to choose between going to the symphony at 3 p.m. or staying home and watching the Packers and Bears on his 52-inch, flatscreen, HDTV you-know-what.  It was a tough decision but he has to say the Baltimore Symphony did a terrific job on Shostakovitch's monumental fifth symphony and he did get to watch the Steelers beat the Jets later on and that was probably as much excitement as he could handle in one day anyway.
     It is very cold in Baltimore---so cold that he and Mrs. U.J. had to do their daily walk inside the palatial Towson Town mall this morning.  The owners open the place up for walkers at 7:30 a.m. which is long before the stores open.  Either they are being very civic-minded or they are hoping the walkers will throw off enough heat to cut down on their electric bill.  Either way it's a great amenity for penurious, exercise-seeking old people like Uncle Jack, especially the third floor where Victoria's Secret has some very inspiring window displays.
     He would like to thank all those readers who have taken time to comment on his Baltimore Blog over the last couple of years.  There is supposed to be some way for him to respond to comments but he still
hasn't been able to figure out how to do it so he hopes this blanket response will at least serve as an apology for not responding in a timely fashion.  He does enjoy reading your comments and he thanks you again for sending them.
   A number of readers have suggested that if he doesn't have anything new to say,  which seems to be happening a lot lately, that he go back in the archives and pull out something that hasn't seen the light of day for several years.  He has been thinking a lot about Ireland lately because of its economic problems which are even worse than ours in some ways.  The last time he was in Ireland several years ago the country was in the midst of a boom that threatened to wreck the country in much the same way that prosperity has changed the Outer Banks so radically.  This column was written at that time and my how it brings back memories.




                        Ireland


     Memories of Uncle Jack's big trip to Ireland are fading
fast now that he is back working for a living again so he thought
he would get a few down on paper before they are gone forever.
  
May l7: Visited "Famine l50", a traveling exhibit commemorating
the l50th anniversary of the Great Famine of l846 which resulted
in the deaths of more than one million Irish people and the
emigration of a million more---many of them to the U.S. The
exhibit was on display at "Leisureland", an amusement complex
in a summer resort near Galway and was one of the few cultural
events in Ireland this year not sponsored by Budweiser or
McDonalds.

May l8: Dinner at the Oyster Room of the Great Southern Hotel,
one of Galway's leading restaurants since l849. "Buffalo Wings"
one of six starters on the menu. International cuisine at its
finest.

May 20: First day in rental car. Thirty miles outside of Galway
Uncle Jack attempts to widen stone bridge with his Opel to make
way for oncoming eighteen wheeler. He predicts that one day
in the near future two German tour buses will reach that bridge
at the same time, wedge themselves together and bring traffic
to a complete halt all over Ireland.

May 2l: Uncle Jack and Mrs. Uncle Jack wait patiently as mother
goat finishes feeding her kid in the middle of the road near
Belmullet. Other stops caused by flocks of sheep, herds of
cattle, and oncoming vehicles which had to back up to the nearest
wide place in the road. (Uncle Jack never could find reverse
gear in that Opel). He could not help thinking that this is
all very quaint but if Ireland wants to get serious about
accommodating tourists they are going to have to tear down
about a million miles of stone fences, widen all the roads to
at least six lanes and keep those animals penned up where they
belong. "Quaint" is going to have to go.

May 21: Lunch at Ashford Castle, ancestral home of the Guinness
beer family and now an 85-room luxury hotel frequented by the
likes of President Reagan, Teddy Kennedy, Joan Baez and Woody
and Mia. Mrs. Uncle Jack had a "Ceaser" salad while Uncle Jack
munched a "ham and chesse" sandwich. The familiar menu misspellings
make them momentarily homesick for the Outer Banks.

May 22: Visited the Gallarus Oratory, a l300 year old stone
church overlooking the ocean near Dingle. After thirteen
centuries of battering by some of the worst weather in the world
it is still completely intact and does not leak a drop no matter
how hard it rains.  Uncle Jack was thinking there might be a
few clues here for the builders who are working on that federally
financed project to design hurricane-proof structures
up in Southern Shores. Junket to Ireland anyone?        

May 23: Dinner at Moran's Oyster House near Galway where the
Moran family has been in the oyster business for over 200 years
in the same location. Unfortunately oysters were out of season
but Uncle Jack's corned beef sandwich was extraordinary.

May 24: Spotted basketball hoop fastened to the wall of a
l4th century stone tower. Boy with fuchsia hair and ring in
nose
practicing rebounds. With satellite TV covering the countryside
Irish children can find their role models where they will,
apparently---even in the NBA.

May 28: With fear and trembling Uncle Jack returns battered
rental car expecting to have to fork over the $l00 deductible
for damage inflicted during his bridge-widening efforts. Lucky
for him the Budget Rental man was unable to distinguish Uncle
Jack's dent from all the others decorating the left side of
his Opel and Uncle Jack was not about to point it out to him.
If they would widen the roads over there this sort of thing
would not happen if you ask him. So much for moral dilemmas.

May 30: Took the train to Dublin. The only civilized way to
travel if you ask Uncle Jack. Fortunately farmers have learned
that train does not stop for sheep on track. One-fourth of all
Irish people live in Dublin and Uncle Jack would guess that
at any given time half of them are stalled in traffic which
could only be described as world-class. Unable to breathe diesel
fumes Uncle Jack stays in the pub at Wynn's hotel for two days
while Mrs. Uncle Jack sightsees for him. Her description of
the Book of Kells in Trinity College also breathtaking.

June 5: Back to U.S. via Aer Lingus. Had last Guinness with
lunch on plane. Two hours to kill in Kennedy airport where
bars serve only Miller Lite and Heineken.  Two Heinekens: $9.00.
Home sweet home. Alas.
                                                  
                                                          


    
    

Back to Bawlmer

   Uncle Jack and Mrs. U.J. are reaching the end of their mid-winter sojourn in South Nags Head and they are pleased to report that it was quite enjoyable in spite of freezing temperatures, incessant rain, relentless wind and overcast skies.  Fortunately he had an excellent book to read which he mentioned in his last blog entry, namely Simon Winchester's newest opus, "Atlantic".  It's a terrific book containing everything you could possibly want to know about the Atlantic Ocean and for the moment at least Uncle Jack is feeling very well informed about his favorite body of water.  He was pleased to note that our own David Stick was one of his sources in the shipwreck department.
     He is also happy to report that the sun did shine briefly yesterday afternoon which sent him and Mrs. U.J. at a brisk trot up to the beach where he took the pictures below---the only ones in his Sony after 12 days at the beach.  Tomorrow it's back up 95 to Charm City where an unknown quantity of snow is expected to fall tonight, possibly followed by sleet or freezing rain.  They can hardly wait.

Looking north toward Jennette's Pier from Whitecap street in South Nags Head.  The seagulls are resting after hours of diving on schools of rockfish off shore.  The sand is nearly as firm as a concrete sidewalk making walking a pleasure.

                                                One of the joys of oceanfront home ownership.

Happy New Year

      Uncle Jack is happy to report that both he and Mrs. U. J. are alive and well and enjoying a lengthy sojourn in South Nags Head in spite of the fact that it is too cold to leave the house.  They have been here for almost a week but still haven't set foot on the beach where icy winds take all the fun of walking.  A warming trend is predicted for the weekend (it could get up to 50F) but until then they will stay inside by the fireplace and catch up on their reading.
      They did get to Manteo Monday and visited Manteo Booksellers where Uncle Jack was delighted to discover that Steve had a copy of a book that he has been wanting to read ever since he first heard about it, namely Simon Winchester's "Atlantic" which, as you might expect, is about the Atlantic Ocean which has played such a major role in the history of the Outer Banks. He has greatly enjoyed every Simon Winchester book he has ever read and this one promises to be no exception.  It's a doorstop of a book so it will keep him enjoyably and profitably occupied for a long time no matter which way the temperature goes.

                                                    Recent sunset in Bawlmer.


Anyway Uncle Jack will be back with some beach pictures in a few days if the temp goes up, the wind goes down and the sun continues to shine.  In the meantime a belated Happy New Year to all members of the tiny band of diehard readers who check in from time to time to seek proof that he is still alive.  He appreciates your efforts and hopes to continue to appear in this space from time to time when the spirit moves.

Progress continues on the Johns Hopkins library addition.  Concrete walls and support beams were poured last week.  Working outside like this in freezing temperatures can't be much fun but they're getting her done in spite of the cold.