Aorta be ashamed of myself.

      Uncle Jack's "hit counter" indicates that there are still a few steadfast readers out there looking in vain every day for some sign that he is still on the planet.  He apologizes for being so dilatory but as he grows older he feels less inclined to sit at his computer and pontificate when he could be reclining in his barcalounger sipping tea and reading a good book like the one he is enjoying at the moment.  It's called "Wits and Sages" and it was published in 1986 by the Johns Hopkins Press.  It's a fascinating study of a dozen or so of  America's most popular and influential newspaper columnists (e.g. Russell Baker, David Broder, Erma Bombeck, Ellen Goodman, George Will, Mike Royko) all of whom were interviewed at length by the author.  What makes the book even more special is that it was written by Uncle Jack's neighbor, Neil Grauer, who lives down at the end of the hall.  One of these days he is going to get up the courage to invite Mr. Grauer to dinner so he can drop a hint to keep Uncle Jack in mind if he ever decides to do another book about newspaper columnists.
      Uncle Jack mentioned back in January that he had an MRI on his heart to follow up on an echocardiogram that gave some indication that his aorta was somewhat dilated.  He finally got the scoop from his new cardiologist this week about what the MRI showed and he can tell you there is good news and bad news.  The bad news is that the MRI confirmed that Uncle Jack's aorta is indeed dilated but the good news is that it isn't a serious problem as long as his blood pressure stays normal.  The best news of all, though, is that if Uncle Jack's aorta does pop he will die almost instantly which is not a bad way to go if you ask him.  Now all he has to worry about is whether his prostate cancer metastasizes before his aorta gives out.
      The last few weeks have been somewhat trying on the medical front.  In rapid succession he had to cope with a sinus infection, an ear infection and an abscessed molar, all of which may have been products of the same bug.  Dr. Ausband neatly plucked the aching tooth from his lower right jaw, leaving a cavernous void which Uncle Jack has been compulsively exploring with his tongue ever since.  He looks forward to many hours of  this new and relatively inexpensive form of entertainment.
      He is scheduled to pick up his new hearing aid on Monday next.  Stay tuned.